[x]

Jareth Be PreparedJareth:
I never thought goblins to be esential.
they're crude and unspeakably plain
but maybe they have glimmer of potential
when aligned with my vision and brain

I know that your powers of retention
Are that of a squirell on catnip
But thick as you are, pay attention
Your about to go an a big trip

there's a girl who is full of potential
who is brooding just above ground
it's important she thinks she's alone there
You'll be bogged should you be found!

Let's prepare for a wish of a lifetime
Be prepared for our dreams to come true
the queen will be coming
and you'll keep her running

Hoggle:
but why would we do that?

Jareth:
so we'll win

Walking BluesGive me your hand, babe, let's go walking today.
We will walk until we're seven hundred miles away.

We will walk in the park and hear the mockingbird's song.
Every note they sing is right, they never get one wrong.

We will walk by the ocean, and hear those whales singing too.
They have a song sweet as honey, if honey were blue.

We will walk through the orchard where the jujubes grow.
We will pick and eat the ones that are hanging down low.

And we will tiptoe around any trouble we find.
You know, even Superman takes a day off sometimes.

We will walk in our sandals, we won't need boots or sh

Equestrian Pie (Parody of American Pie)[Intro]
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that friendship used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those ponies prance
And maybe we’d be happy for a while

But Discord’s presence made me shiver
Like an ice cold, frozen river
Something felt absent
We were missin’ the elements

I can remember when I cried
When I read about her fallen allies
But something touched me deep inside
The day the friendship died

[Chorus]
So bye-bye, Miss Equestrian Pie
Flew to the clouds all enshroud, but bare was the sky
And all those colts were drinkin' cider all night
Singin' "This'll be the day that I die

dark lullabyI can’t help it, it’s not fair
I sense something in the air
There’s voices undefined
It’s the wind, part of my mind
There’s bleakness about this place
Like darkness that hides in lace
Rain descends slowly
A coldness of the unholy
My soul grows icy

I can’t help it, it’s not fair
A face hidden in the briar
Roses prick and blood me
Someone hides, I can’t see
Wind picks up swirling around
My body feels as if it’s bound
He reaches out to feel
My eyes flutter, it’s surreal
My soul burns bright

I can’t help it, it’s not fair
He touches me, I don’t care
His claws pervade

My 'We Didn't Start the Fire' LyricsCamp David, First Gulf War,
Mandela, Desert Storm,
Hurricane Andrew,
NAFTA, Google.

Rwandan genocide,
Forrest Gump, Columbine,
Riots in the LA,
Tony Blair and Y2K.

Operation Orchard,
George Bush the younger,
9/11, Eurozone,
VT shooter on the phone.

Doomsday Clock, Columbia,
Michael Jackson, Obama,
Swine Flu, Facebook,
Bin Laden, Sandy Hook.

Gangnam Style, Mayans wrong,
Aurora, Boston bombs,
Attack in Benghazi,
Arab Spring and BP.

Lucas Arts, Wiki Leaks,
SOPA, LGBT,
Jong-un comes to power,
Chelyabinsk meteor.

Rumpelstiltskin poor soulsRumple:
The only way to get what you want is to learn magic yourself.

Regina:
Can you teach me?

Rumple:
My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To help unfortunate townsfolk like yourself.
But if I do, you'll owe me a favor. hehehe

I admit that in the past I was the darkone
They all feared me and called me, well, an imp
But despite all that you've heard
You can take on my word
that with magic you will never be a whimp
True? yes.
And you fortunately know a little magic
It's in your blood though i admit it's unrefined
And in the end this might just hurt
But ask just what it's worth
to be capable of all that's on your

Burning LightBurning light,
Shining bright,
Let your face declare
My divine might!

Burning light,
Pierce the night,
And shine in this truth!

(interlude)

Absolution,
Courage,
Wisdom and control.
All of these can vanish
In a blink.

Still I hold
This Burden
Closer than I can,
Because I must.
Because I must!

(interlude)

Burning light!

Pedestalhow long will your clothes be in fashion
the flavor of the month is your only passion
what will you do when beauty fades
Girl you've got no personality to compensate

so you look down on others from your homemade pedestal
but it wont be long before you tumble and fall
time will erode everything you know

so look down on others now from your homemade pedestal
but it wont be long before you tumble and fall
time will erode everything you know

how long will you be able to tense your muscles
you only use your knuckles but never learnt to cuddle
how long can you pretend that you are tough
because an old man isn't intimidating when he has n

Dance to the musicDance to the music, sing with all your heart
Hold on together, friendship's like an art!
Dance to the music, sing the night away,
Let's have a party, and send the pain away!

~ Live on, stay strong~
~Don't lose yourself in pain~
~Live on, stay strong~
~Listen to the rain~

Dance to the music, sing with all your heart
Live on forever, each ending is a start!
Dance to the music, sing every day!
Listen to your melody, one only you can play!

~Think fast~
~Dream high~
~Be strong~
~Live your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!~

Sing to the music, dance until you drop!
If you keep on climbing, I'm sure you'll reach the top!
Sing to the music, dance your life

B-My blood type is B negative
Count Dracula took almost all of my blood
I wonder where, where it will go
If there is, there is a great flood
My Dad’s type is A something
And my Mom’s type is plain AB
I wonder how, how you can get
Brown eyes from eyes as green as the sea
My Dad’s type is A something
And my Mom’s type is plain AB
I wonder how, how you can get
Brown eyes from eyes as green as the sea
My blood type is B negative
My blood type is B negative
Count Dracula took almost all of my blood
I wonder where, where it will go
If there is, there is a great flood
In case of an emergency,
My number’s 6-4-3-2-1
Call it as soon as you can
Because my heart’s on, on the run
My Dad’s type is A something
And my Mom’s type is plain AB
I wonder how, how you can get
Brown eyes from eyes as green as the sea
My blood type is B negative
My blood type is B negative
My blood type is B negative
Count Dracula took almost all o

sunsetVision locked on a beautiful light, as the day turns to night
I'm overwhelmed by a feeling that everything's alright,
I can't explain what casts across the sky this peaceful site,
it seems it's like brushstrokes that paint the hues
of oranges, reds and blues on a canvas of clouds guided by the breeze,
gently flowing through me as I breathe
it's the perfect remedy for distress,
the anger building up in my chest
is released in the air as I exhale my breath

The Victory of LossThe more I know,
The less I say
There is no other way
All the things I know are true
Can't be passed along to you
But I still wanna stay

I don't know
How to explain
The only thing I feel is pain
I have no heart
Only a brain
But I can't stay sane

The fire will burn
The wind will blow
That's the only thing they know
Like them, I can only do
The things that I was meant to
But I am gonna miss you

No more words,
So no more lies
On my lips, the truth just dies
I cannot open my eyes
To see the message in the skies
But I will never rise.

~G.K. (Kreatress)

No title #1Hello my friend, hi,
I'm not gonna lie
Today I'm something you shouldn't touch.
I must confess:
As you can guess,
There's something that's disturbing me much.
If I tell you
That I must do
The thing I should have done so long ago,
You'll try to help
And I'm a whelp,
I will accept it though I should say fiercely 'no'.

Emp(i)tyYou command with barren sceptres in your gripe
Keep us drugged by your shit-stirred hype
You feed on the mass applause and hysteria
But you're teetering like a see-saw of mysteria
You know where to find us, deep in the gutter
Clipped our wings so we can no longer flutter
Drowned like the poor itsy-bitsy spider
The system with no care is what we're tied ta'

Float on above us, high in a cloud
Kissing the arse of the one-and-only crown
Neglect us, beat us, kick us while we're down
And when we kick in protest just tut and frown
You lords. You ladies. Barons. Dukes and M-fucking-P's
Selfish, arrogant, vain... just empty with no pity

So hold onto

Half MadIf I had a drink,
So syrupy sweet,
That could make me shrink
Around five feet,
Could I find a mouse-hole in the wall,
And clamber, then climb,
And traipse through rooms, through kitchens, and halls,
While eating a cake that would
Make me tall,
Would I be able to adjust myself,
Not in height,
But in my mind?
To live out freely with everyone else
And pretend that I'm not my normal old self?
Would I be running through Caucus Races?
Or singing with cats who wear grins on their faces?
Would I host a party with cookies and tea?
Or play croquet with an enraged queen?
Would I be able to fit into this world so mad?
Would I feel even half this bad?
Oh, I think that I'd start to feel glad...
Glad that I'm just Half Mad.

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28 August 201128 August 2011

You brought me back to life
using coconuts and waffles -
Simple things not known to work.
And I'm not sure if I thanked you,
But it was there…
Back in my mind.
The glee that comes from being caught
On a hook
Sopping
With syrup and creamy peanut butter,
To be ignited,
Excited…
It's about as sweet a way to say, "I love you"
As any gem, card or flower.
My budding energy was burned
On cat baths –

27 August 201127 August 2011

When all you want is that quiet place,
       Where the world d  i  s  s  o  l  v  e  s
                                               and you can rest
              Always,

26 August 201126 August 2011

Eight hundred eyes and dragonflies
Looking for a break
For the summer winds to give a damn
Not fling them to the rage.
The ocean's been so punishing,
Destruction in its wake
Jellies tangled in the tide thrown
To sand
To sun
To fate.
All the pink life baked to pale,
Dissolved so slowly
Then erased.
There's yet a draw in the

25 August 201125 August 2011

Tiny dancing colts were the first
to trick this sad ire –
Cracking a smile in spite of my darkness.
And boy, weren't you glad?
You'd been trying all morning,
Between coffee and kisses,
Showering joy in your own brand of love.
Take me far from the ocean,
From the last name to haunt it,
The gentle giant soul tortured in its throws –
Far from the blue on blue,
white, cream and gold.
Try to distract me
with the green, green back country
Full of outlaws and farmers,
Ramshack

24 August 201124 August 2011

Take a walk through the gumby gumbo limbo,
Daring us not to climb those dark limbs
Let me lead you along the shady-cool boardwalk
Through a canopy of weavers dazzled gold in the light.
Take my hand,
Follow me,
Let's ascend the tower,
Climb up past the shadows to poke heads at the clouds,
Open arms and embrace the breeze.
We are kings of this land,
Native daughter and son,
Observing our kingdom from lagoon to ocean.
We don't live in those mansions,
We don't' have to
- We own them;
We don't live in those fathoms,
But they're not out

23 August 201123 August 2011

We live in glory on the golden side of life,
Where turquoise glows around creamy bends
Dappled with rockets and railroads -
It calls you in,
Those ivory hands:
I have secrets to show
If you care to venture,
Dare to trust…
This mysterious.
Sweet little fools,
We sit on her sands
like it's our own front porch,
Throwing chins to the wind
As the west bears its knuckles –
Grinning as it plans its storming of beaches.
There's a pri

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Atomic Sunrise

by *kamisch42, Oct 16, 2012, 4:42:37 PM
Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Songs & Lyrics

Atomic Sunrise

The horizon was a-boil with the pink rising sun:

                  A bed of gold satin in Helios' wake.

   Enjoy the alba, child,

           As it portends of things to come,

                                       Things that end,

                                       Things like love.

Remember the world that dazzled?

                  The world that sung?

   But all he could do was say goodbye,

       "Shouldn't you?" he cried –

                            Head in hand,

                                 Soul in pieces

               Melting like clouds on gorgeous mornings.

Darling, pull the shades down

      I'm not ready for the truth -

              It's a brightly-blinding, harsh beauty…

              No, I want to stay with you.

She told him he was worth it,

        She liked to tell him things she knew

             Boy, you're caked in dirt and lies,

                                                         I know –

                                       I see it in your hesitation

              Haven't you been listening?

                  The edges of my dreams are burning,

                       Fringing black in full esteem;

                   They can't take this heat and pressure,

                                             This burst of light,

                                             This honesty.

And they clung to one another –

           It was all they dared to do.

     He told her he was sorry,

          He liked to tell her things he knew.

               "Why are you lingering with nightmares?

                            Coal chalk claws holding your song -

                 You never looked right draped in shadows,

                            Though the stars shine in your eyes,

                                      And the moon rests in your heart –

                              No, your light is silken silver,

                                  But it's dimming in this dark."

         So he pushed her through the window

                 Then shattered with the glass,

                      The last gift that he could give her

                             Before turning to ash.

Yes, she's a brightly-blinding, harsh beauty –

          Block your eyes and kiss the sky,

                     Radiate imploding bliss

                                           To your lips,

                                           To your lungs...

                       She just might live through all of it.

~ K. Bratager

Atomic Sunriseby *kamisch42

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Songs & Lyrics

Entry for

's paid poetry contest, "Colors"

--->[link]

Y'all know how I love sunrises (and sunsets...and clouds)...I have plenty of stuff with colors all over the lines, but this contest is specifically wanting something new, and as I tend to always jump on posting anything I write right away, something new has to be...new. So, driving home from work in the morning...thinking of personal things...and enjoying the colors. Yup.

Go submit for yourself! Enjoy other submissions...and comment on my stuff, because I love hearing what people think, whatever they think

Critique by *prettyflour Jan 5, 2013, 1:00:22 PM

Hey there,

Prettyflour here from

with the critique you requested.

I have to start by saying that I very much enjoyed this poem. At first glance, the formatting was interesting- it made reading it easy; between that and the punctuation, it accentuated where to pause and it gave the poem a emotion feel that I feel many poems lack. Good call!

I was absolutely hooked after reading:

"Shouldn't you?" he cried-
Head in hand,
Soul in pieces
Melting like clouds on a gorgeous mornings.

Those lines conveyed a desperation that really set the tone and drew me in. And the way you followed up with:

Darling, pull the shades down

I'm not ready for the truth -

It's a brightly-blinding, harsh beauty…

No, I want to stay with you.

Just wonderful!

I love the contradiction of brightly-blinding, harsh beauty. That is so apt!

I was a tad confused at the line: Fringing black and full esteem
I thought esteem was an odd word choice and I didn't quite understand it in this context. Also, I was surprised to see that this was listed as Songs & Lyrics...It struck me as more of concrete poetry or free verse. BUT overall, I was
impressed with this poem. It made me want to read more of your work.

I hope this was helpful!

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

3 Replies

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Critique by ~NotenSMSK Dec 22, 2012, 10:41:33 AM

Hello! I am from

with my critique on your work. If you had submitted quite some time ago, I would apologize for the delay since the critique folder just recently opened officially.

So this work left me in puzzled thoughts. The theme left me wondering what happened. So let me start a bit more slowly.

The beginning was surprisingly well written and it pulled me towards it. The expressions that this work started with were subtle and well worded so I enjoyed that perspective of the start as well. But then as the work proceeded... it started losing its charm. A few things that might be the reason why. I felt at times that a dialogue was being introduced and that it was no longer the main narrator of the poem speaking but there were no quotation marks. If it was still the narrator... then I have to say that the tone varied continuously for me.

Then there is the slight... ambiguity in the role that should have been cleared near the ending but sadly didn't. This might be the case with me and perhaps other people understood it. An example would be:

"Shouldn't you?" he cried –

This is a point where I read this again and again but I felt that the words could have been chosen more widely. After this point it started losing its feel. The "darling" a few lines later left me wondering who was talking about who... who is not ready for the truth... and well after that it was hard to keep the pieces together.

Correct me if I am wrong anywhere and I would like you to elaborate more on the piece so that I could see what you intended. I hope my ratings don't come out too harsh but I didn't really understand much. I hope this helps and thank you for submitting.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

4 Replies

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The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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love 1 1

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~shehrozeameen Dec 23, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I on behalf of #PoeticalCondition am writing this critique:

Vision and Originality and Impact - 5/5

The story was well written, though the ending was abstract and I didn't get it, to be honest... scratch that, I got it and I regret, the glass shattering felt a lot like home. I found vibes of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind after I was done reading it... And then some of my own writing's themes shimmering through... this is definitely going to remain in my mind for a while...

Technique - 4.5/5

I'm not usually a fan of free verse, but I condone it for its artistic allowance of giving dabs of light to what's going through the artist's mind. Here, it is very well used. Well done.

my personal favorite was:

So he pushed her through the window Then shattered with the glass, The last gift that he could give her Before turning to ash.

Gives a whole new meaning to waking up... that's hauntingly stark... but gives a brevity to a work that is going to linger in my head for a really long while...

*kamisch42 Dec 24, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Fantastic! Thank you

I do love that movie...well, I loved it the one time I saw it. I should probably watch it again to see what vibes you mean, but I take it as a compliment! As for the glass...I just couldn't leave it there

Because it was an abrupt awakening, but it was all for the better, so she can be happy again. Heh...I'd had enough depression, I wanted a happy ending

Glad you found it sticky! I like to cling to brains like an irritating pop song like that

So it totally just made my night. Xie xie.
~K

~shehrozeameen Dec 25, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

lol fair enough.

Keep writing.

Hidden by Owner

*timeraider Oct 16, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I love the melody of this piece - the subtle rhymes, the left-to-right shifts, the way the lines are broken. The first six lines pulled me in completely. Gorgeous work.

*kamisch42 Oct 16, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Aw, thank you so much!

Heh...some people get irritated by the way I format my lines, moving all over like that. But I just...I get bored when everything's squared to one side, it makes it seem like there's something missing. I try to align them the way they connect in my head, grouped by ideas. Does that make sense? I'm glad someone approves! And I'm glad you enjoyed it

~ K

*timeraider Oct 17, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Well, it's not a technique I can recall employing often, or always enjoying, but with this piece especially, it works. Rather than feeling like chaos, it felt like... ideas chasing one another.

And I most certainly enjoyed it. I am glad you shared it with us.

*kamisch42 Oct 17, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Hmmm...ideas chasing eachother - exactly!

Thanks!

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Atomic Sunrise

Atomic Sunriseby *kamisch42

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